Perfect Till Death
by UmPaDee
Summary: Kaylie has a relapse after the Olympics triggered by an unflattering tabloid picture and so much more. Still she should be fine because Austin's always had her back. Right? Warnings: Eating Disorder.


_**I know Make it or Break it has been done forever ago, but I miss it. Anyways. I was cleaning out files on my computer from forever ago and found this. It's not as great as I'd like it to be, and it originally was going to be a multi chapter but I adapted it to be a one shot. Please review and favorite. I have more potential one shots from my past to post and I'm trying to decide if I should or not. Enjoy!**_

**Perfect till Death**

The world couldn't breathe when the unthinkable happened, something so unbelievably fantastic that no one knew what had occurred. History had been written, records set, and nobody could believe it. 2012 had been the year of Team USA gymnastics; nobody could deny it and all the drug tests in the world couldn't explain it.

Austin Tucker had a far-fetched goal, that many had resolved as impossible, but Austin Tucker took his chance and succeeded. If you used to ask Austin Tucker what he wanted more than anything else he'd say Kaylie, then he'd say a world record. And once he achieved the first he set his sights on the later.

At first it seemed dubious. He'd been kicked off the Olympic team, but due to certain players failure to pass blood testing. Austin Tucker came back with a new resolve and work ethic. He slept, ate and breathed gymnastics with a ferocity that was unparalleled, vowing to be even better than before. An old dog learning new tricks for a record number of medals. To beat the record, it meant he'd have to go gold in every event he competed in, but Austin wasn't afraid. It was his last chance and the world was more than dubious. They were unconcerned with him, and he was aware. Still, when the Olympics finally opened the door to his last shot, he knew he could do it and he did.

Kaylie took her own winning four gold medals and 1 bronze.. But all she could think was that she wasn't good enough to score gold on beam. When the star spangled banner didn't play and she was given a shiny silver she faked a smile, trying to focus on how amazing everything was, and the previous moments when her anthem blasted the stadium.

It was an amazing momentous time in history. Kaylie and Austin returned to a world that was not their own. An unprecedented amount of interviews and spots on TV shows took away from their time at the gym while earning them star power never seen before for American Gymnasts. Kaylie was Americas' sweetheart, while Austin Tucker was the new Heartthrob. They had rewritten the history of gymnastics and there was no turning back.

She returned to her perfect life with the perfect career and perfect boyfriend. She was told that she was the perfect role model and that she had perfect hair. They even said her family was all too perfect. If only they knew… how desperate Kaylie was to paint that perfect picture.

Kaylie couldn't have had a happier time in her life but within a month everything fell apart. Her parents revealed to her that they were both dating other people, on the brink of moving in, getting engaged and starting over. Apparently, they were waiting to make sure she was completely stable with her eating disorder and now they were no longer afraid that it would cause a relapse. Her friends started to resent her, eventually ostracizing her from the group, as she had completely demolished their chances of winning gold in any individual events during the Olympics. And then the pressure of paparazzi and adoring fan mail became over the top. The whole world wanted her to be this perfect role model for young girls and it frightened her because if they really knew her, she was far from perfect.

That was why she moved in with Austin. She was afraid of the pressure and with him she'd learnt to just be herself and relax. She knew he'd be there for her when she needed him. So she got emancipated and made the move. But her own insecurities got the best of her. Through everything, he was still the star getting hit on by gorgeous models and red carpet A-listers every day, and she was just his girlfriend excellent but not nearly as extraordinary. What did he see in her?

He'd said it himself she wasn't the prettiest, or the best personality. And in terms of Olympic gold she didn't measure up to him in the slightest. She wasn't as amazing as he deserved and it killed her.

Kaylie laid out in the Boulder sun on one of Austin's pool chairs soaking up the sun rays and glossing through her guilty pleasure of trashy tabloids. Austin had tried to confiscate them from her, but had given up after a few weeks. Still he insisted that it wasn't a good idea. First off, it wasn't healthy for her to constantly compare herself to airbrushed celebrities. And now that she was often in the magazines, it would be detrimental for her to read about all the rumors and things idiots would say about her. But they were normally good and she liked when she saw a picture of her with Austin and the caption said something about the lovebirds reinventing the sport of gymnastics with each other's support.

So Kaylie kept flicking through in Austin's arms as he lay out next to her with his cobalt sunglasses. It felt nice to be in his arms. Kaylie smiled at him and he returned the favor. "God," He pulled her closer, "Have I told you how much I love you lately."

"Mmmm," Kaylie smiled, "I could use a reminder."  
This was followed by a full blown make out session. That stopped when her foot knocked over a pile of magazines and the top one landed open to a page where Kaylie and Austin were running on the beach in their swimsuits.

Kaylie and Austin looked to both their detriments. As big letters plastered over his head said Best Beach Body and over hers was a Worst Beach Body. Kaylie pounced on it reading the caption. _While Olympic gymnasts are known for their superior bods and light physiques, it seems like Kaylie Cruz has been pounding her face with forbidden foods since her notorious 5 gold medal win at the olympics, and skipping workouts while still maintaining an Olympic champion diet. Sources say that Kaylie barely hits the Rock to train anymore much to the dismay of Coach Sasha Belov._ _Other sources say her weight has rocketed in the aftermath due to emotional eating and the stress of long-time boyfriend, gymnastic legend Austin Tucker. "Austin's a real player," A close friend said, "Kaylie has to constantly worry about girl's throwing themselves at him and with all of her insecurities I'm not sure if she trusts him ." All we can say is, hasn't she heard of Nadia Comenci?_

Austin sighed, "Kaylie. That's B.S. they just took it at a bad angle. You have to understand these magazines will do anything to get a dollar, including manipulating photos for the worse."

"Yeah," She let out a sigh, "I- I-I- know."

"You look great," He sighed, "Like an Olympic gymnast. Being a rail-thin stick, isn't an option for you. You have to have muscle to get power, and these magazines don't understand that."

"So I'm not skinny," Kaylie mumbled.

"No, Kaylie," Austin grabbed her hand, "That's not what I'm saying. You're perfect. Just ignore it. They're stupid if they think my girlfriend isn't the hottest thing around."

"Austin…" Kaylie stood up, taking her hand away from his, "If you don't mind, I think I'm just going to go to the Rock. Get my mind off of things."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about this?" he looked at her, analyzing her every move.

"No," Kaylie gave him a fake smile, "It hurts my feelings, but I'm not going to let them get to me. It's fine." She knew this was a lie though, as far from the truth as anything she'd ever said before. It had already gotten to her, and she had already decided to do something about it."

"Good," Austin smiled, "I'm proud of you. Why don't we go to the Rock together?"  
"Great," Kaylie led him into his beach house to get ready.

He should have noticed the changes, the signs after that, but he never did. And it would haunt Austin for the rest of his life. Kaylie was busy, and a master at lying. Sentences like "I already ate," and "I'm not hungry" became common place in the Tucker house, but Austin didn't think twice. He trusted Kaylie, she wouldn't lie to him. Kaylie soon spent all her time at the Rock or in their home gym. When he asked about it, she'd shrug and say she was trying to make up for all the training she missed.

He didn't notice anything until Lauren said something to her at the Rock, only a few feet away from where he was training on the parallel bars. "Kaylie, you look tired, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Lauren," Kaylie rolled her eyes.

"Are you sure?" the blonde's eyes fell over the stick-thin girl's body, "You've been looking thinner lately. You haven't relapsed, right?"

Kaylie gave her a disgusted look, "God, no."

"I'm sorry," Lauren said, "I know I've been a bitch lately, but I really am concerned about you Kay-. You look sick."

The brunette turned red in the face. "You're unbelievable," She huffed, "You don't have a right to be concerned about me anymore because we're not friends."

Austin finished his routine, and looked at Kaylie. God, she was looking a little too skinny for his comfort, and she was… Austin stopped, when was the last time he'd seen Kaylie eat a whole meal. He felt sick knowing this whole thing had gone on right under his nose. "Kaylie, I think we need to talk outside."

Kaylie realized that he'd heard, and felt like she was going to cry. This couldn't be happening, not now, not again. "Look what you've done now, Lauren."

Lauren nodded her head and bit her lip, watching Austin pull Kaylie out of the gym, unable to speak for one of the first times.

"What?" Kaylie looked at Austin, under the Rock sign.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?" Kaylie looked up at the sky.

"Are you having a relapse of anorexia?"

"No," Kaylie bit her lip, "I've just been watching what I eat and training a bit more."

"Kaylie…" Austin gave her a disapproving eyebrow raise, "You can't afford to waiver from your meal plan or workout excessively."

Kaylie looked up at the sky through the trees that were shading the feuding couple. "Fine, why don't I just quit gymnastics? After all, there is no way I can ever win Olympic gold again being some out-of—shape slob. "

"Kaylie…"

"I'm not having a relapse," she felt a tear forming in her eyes. _But what if I am?_

Austin pulled her into his arms, "Why don't we do this? You'll come home early today from training. I'll call your therapist so you can have an appointment tomorrow, and we'll just take it easy the next couple of days."

"I don't know Austin," Kaylie pulled away "Sasha will get really angry at me if I don't train."

"I'll explain it to him."

"I don't want Sasha to get angry at me."

"He won't."

"Austin, I need to train."

"It'll just be a couple of days; you'll survive."

"But what if-"

"Kaylie, If you're anorexia becomes serious, you'll probably be missing a whole lot more than a couple of days."

"You're right," Kaylie nodded her head, going back inside to take a shower and change out of the custom made pink Leo that Austin had given her last night, but when she was soaping up her body she noticed the flab on her belly and her thighs. _Just a little bit more._

After a few days of relaxing she returned to the gym. Austin was convinced she'd spent all day watching TV. Kaylie hadn't. As soon as he left, she began working out—swimming, jumping jacks or running on the treadmill, anything to stay in shape and keep him off her tail. She woke up after he left, and she knew he'd be suspicious, checking the garbage and dishwasher for evidence of having eaten. So she'd peel a banana throw it in the trash and send the rest down the garbage disposal with a healthy supply of cereal and vegetables. She made dishes dirty, purposefully, even making him mad for not rinsing out her bowls—a big pet peeve she had learnt. But she could tell that behind his harmless request to 'please-rinse-out –your-stuff' he was pleased that she'd eaten, except that she hadn't, but he didn't need to know that.

Returning to the gym made things easier and more difficult all at once. She could still feel Austin's eyes on her during her moves or while they were eating, waiting for some sign of a relapse. She put on a good show, a better on than the first. Luckily, she had the tricks she'd learnt from other girls at rehab to help her this time. The problem was Austin wasn't just looking for signs, he was looking for tricks.

Any cups or mugs that weren't see through disappeared. She saw him checking through the garbage a few times, and could hear him trying to listen to her through the bathroom door. She was tempted to say something, but if he knew that she knew he knew what was really going on, her methods for hiding it would become more easily compromised.

It was when he got rid of the scale that she exploded. It had been a long time since the two had any semblance of a fight, but her iceberg had been hit, and it was titanic-sized. She told him she knew what he was up to. She told him she was fine. She told him he was crazy. He just nodded his head, and said that he was concerned. "I'm an adult," she said, "And you're my boyfriend! Not my coach or parent."

He nodded his head. "But you're living with me. If you have a relapse whose going to be responsible—me. Whose going to feel guilty—me. I care about you."

Then she said it, "I could just move out."

"Fine," Austin said, his lips curled and eyes slightly shaken. "If the scale is such a deal breaker for you…."

Kaylie looked at him, hands on her hip, eyes rolling to the sound of his footsteps moving towards the cabinet. He pulled the scale out, the high-tech kind that every athlete had with body fat and muscle mass and water weight, and bone density. "You can use it," he sat it down on the ground right in front of her, "if it's such a big deal. Get on it now."

She wasn't prepared, still a mammoth, but Austin was paranoid and she knew he'd tell her the number was too small. He'd rat her out to Sasha, and somehow she'd end up at that awful place she'd been before. She couldn't' get on it—no weights on her thighs or coins in her underwear.

"I'm not in the mood right now," she said, "I just noticed it was gone, and I hate what that stands for. No trust."

"Kaylie," he said, "I trust you. I want to continue trusting you. Please, show me that I can trust you. We can end this whole thing. I'll stop being paranoid , knowing you're fine."

"Austin," her lips pursed, and her tear ducts let out.

She couldn't help it, producing her own tourist attraction comparable to the Niagara falls. Austin didn't say anything. He didn't yell, and he didn't make her get on the scale. He just picked her up and put her on the bed, and left her there. She knew she'd lost him. His patience was too worn down. Her body was broken. But he returned, sandwich in hand. He gave it to her before leaving again. "Eat," he said, "I have a meeting I have to go to."

So she ate, thinking he'd leave and she'd get rid of it in the bathroom, but he was too smart for her recognition. Instead he dragged her out to the car. "I'm fine," she said, "I'm just mad with you."

"Whatever," he mumbled, "The meetings for both of us. Some commercial."

Kaylie gulped, no getting away that easy. Instead the sandwich would sit there in her stomach, getting digested. And the commercial people would realize how fat and imperfect Kaylie was and they'd decide to. "It's for a sports drink," he said, "I don't know if you'd be the perfect candidate now, but who knows."

Kaylie couldn't escape. Austin practically dragged her to the room where there agents were waiting. "It's perfect," they said. Their eyes were huge with money signs, "A real marketing plan with you at the core."

And it was true, except for when they talked about the starting commercials. "We're gymnasts. It's a sports drink why are in our swimsuits on a beach?" Austin said.

The advertising people chuckled, "Well you see…" and they explained the logic and they explained the psychology but all Kaylie took out of the whole whirlwind is "that a good body sells".

"I'm sorry," Austin said, "I don't think Kaylie can do that. Is there another way?"

It had been two weeks since then, and Kaylie hadn't spoken two words to Austin since. She didn't even yell, just looked at him: a glare of silence, loud and explosive.

Maybe Austin didn't care. Maybe Austin forgot. Maybe Austin was hoping to be forgiven. But when she saw Austin and Sasha walking toward her, she knew that this was all part of some very elaborate scheme. She tried to jut away. Take a shower, clean up and leave. They couldn't force her to stay or talk. That's what she thought until Sasha yelled after her, but she didn't stop, ignoring him with the candor of Russian roulette. Choosing to took a B-line to the girls changing room was a desperate and ultimately useless mode of excuse because popping right out of the room was summer. She put her hand on Kaylie's, "I've been meaning to talk to you all day."

Kaylie wanted to roll her eyes. If this was all part of some elaborate set up than Austin really had gone overboard. "After a shower?" she said.

"No, this will only take a minute," Summer guided her towards her office, and Kaylie could see Sasha walk towards them, Austin trailing slightly behind.

"Kaylie," Sasha shouted, "my office now."

Summer and Sasha came to a head. "Actually I have to talk to her," she said it's important."

Sasha shook his head, always tired of Summer overruling him in his own gym. "It can wait."

"No," she said, "It can't."

Sasha pulled Summer away, out of ears reach, and Kaylie could feel her empty stomach lurch forward, anxiety crawling through her body. Austin put his hand on her shoulders, and, if it didn't feel so comforting, Kaylie would have thrown it off. "What did you do?" Kaylie asked.

"Nothing," Austin said, "But I think we both know what this is about."

They did, and it turned out that both Sasha and Summer were planning on talking about the same thing, now with combined efforts. They dragged her into Sasha's office, Kaylies fingers drumming against her thigh. _Too flabby. _"Kaylie there's been some talk…"

_There always was._

"Would you mind stepping on the scale?"

So she did. Eyes shut, pretending everything in the world was so fine except that they were all staring at the number dictating her self worth, her chubbiness flaunted to the world. "Kaylie," Summer placed her hand on Kaylie's shoulder, "Why don't you have a seat?"

"You're not at a weight to compete," Sasha cut her off, not quite as gently, "I'm sorry Kaylie but I can't let you practice in the gym until you've obtained your ideal weight."

_So she was too fat?_ "You want me to lose weight?" Kaylie could hardly breathe, a tear trickled down her cheek. A feeling of triumphant resolve ran it's course, letting in a myriad of terror. Austin pulled her into him.

"No Kaylie," They said, "No. You need to gain at least 10 to 15 pounds."

"As you know there are a number of treatment programs," Summer offered, "You can come back in no time. There's less pressure this time."

That wasn't true because back then the elite few of the gymnastic enthusiasts knew her, now she had the whole country on her back, expecting nothing less than perfection. She had to be perfect for them. For the sponsors. For the girls who called her a role model. For the NGO. For the fans. For the country. For the world.

Austin offered to take her home, but she said no. She said she'd find another gym, find another boyfriend, find another life. Because she had to be perfect. She had to be perfect. She had to be perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

Perfect till death.


End file.
